So I killed the Pinterest Mom: Embracing Titus 2 Priorities

My house is clean. My children are clean. I ran a few errands and even squeezed in a workout. I made a good dinner tonight. I am feeling pretty good about myself today. I sit down for some quality Facebook and Pinterest time. What a terrific way to end the day. Hmm, Susan’s garden looks good and so do her canned tomatoes. Home-canned is better than store bought. Maybe I should have grown a garden this year. Oh, look how cute Brittany looks in her wedding photos! I can’t fit into my dress anymore. My man doesn’t look at me like that anymore. Just wait until they have three kids and life to juggle.

How does that woman have all that time to sew and craft? Look at all those projects she pinned! If she pinned all of them, she must be working on all these projects, right? Why don’t I have time for projects?  I must not manage time well enough. Search: time management. Someone can surely tell me how to do it all.

How did we get here? I have a few thoughts.

We have been deceived.

 

There are two lies I think we deal with often as women: I can have it all. I can do it all.

The world told us we could have it all: career, nice things, stable family, immaculate home, delicious homemade dinners every night, and free time. Any working mom will tell you that this is not true. We cannot have it all and we certainly cannot do it all. Sacrifices must be made. I work, and because I work I cannot always make culinary delights for my family. Sometimes, plain old spaghetti must suffice. I miss out on some precious family time too. My job is so part-time I could be considered a stay at home mom and I cannot do it all. I have sometimes thought that if I could only stay home full-time I could really accomplish a lot. My friends who are full-time stay at home moms are laughing at me right now. The truth is we will always have some great and noble goal that we will not accomplish. The truth is we have time every day to do what God has planned for us to do. The truth is no one can do it all. So, what do we do? Set biblical expectations and prioritize. Let’s look to the bible for direction on priorities.

 

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

I believe that Titus 2 tells us that our priorities revolve around the gospel and the home. This does not mean that a woman should not work. You will not hear not hear me say that.

To prioritize, your husband is an excellent place to start if you are married. Find out what his priorities are for your home. If he would rather have ironed slacks than save $.50 on dish detergent, iron the slacks. Think, “How can I best help my husband today?”

Do you remember when your greatest desire was to be a good wife to him? Are you now trying to be the best little homemaker or professional this side of the Mason-Dixon? You see, the problem with trying to have it all do it all is that our lives and priorities revolve around us, and the most important people and priorities get shuffled to the side while we try to achieve greatness in our own eyes. Regardless of how some may cringe at the idea, one of our main roles in the home is to help our husband, to love our husband so that the gospel is clearly displayed. The next is like it: loving our children.

We should also ask ourselves: What will most honor and promote the gospel in my life and the life of my family today? Which is more important: reading the bible to my children or finishing my to do list? We need to ask ourselves if we are putting time into the right things. Are we promoting the gospel or ourselves with our time? The world does not see a need for a Savior when we keep the same self-centered priorities as them.

Lastly, please stop letting social media tell you that you are not producing enough, not doing enough, not performing well enough. Focus your life on honoring the gospel. God will bless that product. We get so busy that we forget to focus.

I do plan to post a study of Titus 2 in the coming months, so stay tuned.

Exhibits A and B

There's a simple way to keep your home spring-clean fresh all year through.stressed out

It is grocery day. You roll into Kroger confidently or limp along depending on the morning. This particular morning has “limp” written all over it. The baby was up all night, the toddler is waxing temperamental, and you did not accomplish one task before leaving home this morning. The only one who seems unwearied this morning is your 5 year old. Praise God for the small things. Somedays you feel as if it takes all day just to get your kids out of the house. You make a mental note of desired purchases, remind your toddler it is not ok to pull his sister’s hair, and toss a toy to the baby to calm him down. Enter exhibit A. She walks in with her three children perfectly in tow. The children are spotless from head to toe and decked out in Gymboree’s latest  (you guiltily remember the carrot smudge you forgot to wipe off baby’s cheek and throw a blanket over him to conceal his pajamas). The children interact quietly and mom moves through the store with ease while you stop to hand out snacks to quiet your toddler. If it is possible, mom looks even more put together than the children (hair, makeup, jewelry, matching clothes, a purse instead of a diaper bag). You shame yourself because you could have sacrificed 15 minutes of precious sleep to manage more than yoga pants and a pony tail. Sound familiar?

Enter exhibit B. You hear her children before you see them. They have unkempt hair and koolaid mustaches and dirty t-shirts. One child is throwing items out of the cart while mom screams at another child for pulling boxes off the shelves. “If you do that one more time, I am never taking you anywhere again and no tv for a month!” she bellows through a clenched jaw. She smacks the child in the face. Hard. She fills her cart with soda, boxed mac and cheese, and junk food.  You can pretty much pinpoint their location by the screams and crashes. You fall back to maintain a safe distance from the anomaly. Feeling better about yourself?

These scenarios play out over and over in my head. If you are a woman, I am quite sure you have experienced this too. It is clear we have a problem. Why do we make our homes in this inferiority-superiority cycle day after day? What does the bible speak to all this? My hope is to explore this in the coming weeks on Home for the Gospel.